Joanna Goddard posted a series of interviews about how women balance work and family on her blog, A Cup of Jo, that really inspired me. In honor of Labor Day weekend, I decided to share my own unsolicited responses to her insightfully probing questions.
1. What's your work schedule?
Since I work for an SF-based company where working from home is the exception rather than the rule, I maintain the standard office hours of 9-5 (or sometime between 8:30 and 9 and sometime after 5:30 or 6), and sometimes later into the evening if I have a deadline or didn't feel I was as productive as I could have been during the day. Ideally, I like to get up at about 7 and take Ava out for a long walk/jog and then take a quick shower before I sit down to start my workday because I get so wrapped up in work that those things just don't happen if not then.
2. How do you handle childcare?
I am probably one of the most fortunate mothers out there who has not one, but two grandmothers with flexible schedules that allow them to alternate days they watch Ava. They usually come between 9:30 and 10 and take care of Ava the majority of the time while I'm working and just bring her into me for feedings as she's just now being gradually introduced to eating solid foods. It's so wonderful that she gets to spend this quality time with both her grandmothers and really get to know them and learn from them. They're both amazing women who have so many gifts to share with her.
3. Where do you work during the day?
Before I had Ava I worked from home once a week and I usually just kept my laptop open wherever in the house I felt it was most convenient to be. But I've found that I work best with a set routine. I have my desk set up in my home office and I treat it as if it were my cube at work. This way, I know that when I finish for the day, I'm off and I don't have to feel like I'm constantly on-call just because I have access to my email. And I just recently started spending one day a week in the office and this really helps break up the week.
4. What do you like best about your current set-up?
I love that I have the flexibility to still feel like I'm present for Ava and can poke in and have a snuggle whenever I like, but I can also focus 100% on work when I need to. And because my job is a bit on the isolated side, I love that I have a place to go in the city where I can feel like I'm in the middle of the action.
5. What do you find so-so/tricky/hilariously bad about your current set-up? What would you change if you had a magic wand?
Honestly, I appreciate how fortunate I am to have this dream situation. Not all of my new-mom friends have this luxury or flexibility and it has made being a working mother so much less conflicting. Sometimes I'll have Ava on my lap as I'm typing away on my keyboard and just think, Wow, if this is what work looks like, life is pretty good.
6. How does your husband contribute to managing the juggle/house/childcare?
Alex really is an equal partner in Ava's care. He's changed at least as many diapers as I have and he's been so attentive to her from day one. When it comes to household responsibilities, I think I take on more, mostly because I'm home and I can throw in a load of laundry between phone meetings if I have to. I take care of dinner most nights during the week. Alex cooks the day I work in the city and on weekends. We just came up with this schedule a couple weeks ago and it has been such a dream. Before that, we were both feeling like we were doing all the cooking ourselves (isn't it funny how people always feel like they're doing so much more than the other one?) so this schedule breaks up the workload more evenly. Plus it motivates me to plan for meals better when I know it's my turn instead of both of us waiting for the other one to cave in and throw something together.
7. How do you and your husband fit your marriage into the balance?
It's really nice when Ava goes to bed at a decent hour and we can unwind together for a couple hours before bed (usually around 11). (Lately, we haven't been so lucky but everything comes and goes in phases so hopefully she'll be back on a normal schedule again soon.) We try to have date nights once a week. Since I'm home all day most days I really appreciate being able to get out of the house. We haven't been so good at making this a priority (sometimes it's just so much easier to stay in) but I feel like this is something I need, so we're working on it.
8. Do you have any time for yourself? What do you do during that time?
Ha... that's funny, really. Unless of course you mean the time I'm able to spend showering or eating or doing laundry.... Then I would say yes, I somehow manage to make time... sometimes. Actually writing this blog is something I do purely for me. I don't get paid for it and it really doesn't count as contributing to the upkeep of my family, so in that case you can tell by the infrequency of my blog posts how little time I'm able to take for myself.
9. Do you ever wonder how other women manage the juggle? Have you talked to other women about it?
I am actually in awe of how most working mothers I know are able to deal the cards they're dealt. Whether they work from home or outside the home, they seem to have found a situation that works for them.
10. What advice would you give to other moms about how to balance work and life?
This interview has me questioning what work-motherhood balance really means. I don't think it means having sufficient time to indulge in your every whim (I've never had that, even before baby). I think its more about making life work for you, not giving too much thought to what you "should" be doing, and feeling satisfied with your decisions, knowing you're doing all you can.
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